When One Parent Talks Badly About the Other – Building Kids’ Resilience in Two Homes

When there is a history of emotional abuse between parents during the marriage, one parent often talks badly about the other after the divorce. This is a continuation of the marriage relationship. The hope is that the parent-child relationships don’t need to suffer. The hope is building kids’ resilience in two homes works more successfully than before.

At the same time, it is critical your children are raised in the awareness that emotional abuse exists. And they need to learn to be resilient in case they end up as recipients of emotional abuse by a parent or anyone in their lives. It is possible to navigate this dilemma without bad-mouthing your co-parent.

One Parent Talks Badly About the Other

It can be really challenging to not retaliate when one parent talks badly about the other. Although you may need to defend yourself against specific attacks when the other parent says things to your children, it is critical you do not retaliate by saying similar things about them.

Emotional harm between parents has negative impacts on you and your children. Of course, make an effort to protect your kids from any exposure to emotional harm. Act as a buffer against the negative consequences, and support them emotionally, so they can become resilient in the face of emotional abuse in whatever form. 

Building Kids’ Resilience in Two Homes

Children react differently to negative situations, so be mindful of how your children respond. Some show clear signs of distress and want to talk to you about it. Others are obviously upset but don’t want to talk to you. Remember, they are stuck in the middle and feel confused about what to do. Getting them some outside help can help them make the transition and build a foundation of greater resilience.

If you face a situation where one parent talks badly about the other, make sure your children get the help they need to understand what is happening and learn to protect themselves from long-term harm. Children need an opportunity to get support from group programs, therapy, or a counselor, so they can talk about their feelings outside of the family. When they discover that others have similar issues, they can talk more freely about their worries. Then they can find ways to become more resilient and make things better. Building your children’s resiliency empowers them to feel in control in difficult situations and helps them find their voice and feel heard.

Decrease Conflict with Better Communication with a Shared Family Calendar App

There may be nothing you can do directly if your ex is saying bad things about you. But you can take some indirect actions. A shared family calendar app provides a buffer for your communication and logistics. You can even have the children use the app to communicate with their other parent. This provides them with some additional protection, too. Consider recommending the 2houses shared family calendar app to your ex for logistical arrangements. This could be the first step to supporting your children as they develop more resilience in two homes.