How to Co-Parent Effectively with 2houses

Parenting…before I ever was a parent, I said to myself, I will never count to three…never. Kids will understand consequences of actions and because of how I’ll parent, we’ll never get to those counts. Then we ended up counting to three…and then, as I went through my separation and divorce, I found myself counting to get through my own emotions that were bubbling to the surface.

But I wanted to stop counting. Life happens and that means that sometimes, even with the best of intentions things don’t work out…just like when I started counting up to three to get my preschooler to listen.

And I realized that I needed to listen to be an effective co-parent. This meant listening to the needs of my kids, listening to the concerns of my ex partner and listening to what I wanted to achieve as well. And that achievement was a new normal where my ex partner and I could co-parent effectively.

Which brings me to 2houses. Not only did it really help set the tone for how my ex partner and I co-parent, but it also helped remove that tension that was leading to those moments when all I could do was count in an effort to reduce my frustration. So how did it help me co-parent effectively?

It Removed those Conflict Topics From Our Daily Communication

The first thing that 2houses did to help us co-parent effectively was to separate out those conflict topics through the use of the app. My ex partner and I could discuss finances, shared expenses and scheduling all through the app and it was incredibly easy to agree on things such as schedule changes that were needed.

With the platform dealing with those harder topics that usually bring out a lot of tension, we were able to focus any conversations we did have around the needs of the kids and we found that it was easier to have civil conversations during hand offs. We agreed to use the app for anything that could lead to a potential argument so when we were interacting, the kids didn’t see us fighting.

Created Predictability and Stability for Our Kids

While the calendar on the app really made it easy for us to create predictability for the kids, the other features on the platform allowed us to create stability. If things happened at one house or another, we could write journals to let the other parent know what happened. If a routine wasn’t working properly, we could send messages to problem solve it in the easiest manner possible.

This was important for us to create homes that had the same routines, rules and boundaries so our kids had the stability between two homes. They didn’t have additional stress by having constantly changing rules and routines as we were both on the same page.

Allowed our Kids to Stay Connected

While a major rule that we follow, and one that 2houses recommends for families, is never to infringe on the time parents are spending together, kids are kids. Sometimes, my kids wanted me when they were with my parent and vice versa. It is normal, especially since they are going through a transition like my ex partner and I were.

The 2houses platform was amazing for this because kids could initiate contact no matter where they were. We gave them each their own access to the platform and they could share messages and photos with my ex partner, and with me when they were not with me, as they wanted to. Because it was usually just quick messages back and forth, it doesn’t feel like our time is being cut into and the kids can touch base to recenter themselves as they need.

It helped us co-parent more effectively because we could really tune in on what our kids needed. We could also connect together when the kids were having a harder time with the separation and come up with strategies to ensure that they felt connected to both of us, even when they weren’t with us.

Balanced our Budgets so Money Stopped Being an Issue

I already mentioned this with conflict topics since money is one of the biggest conflict topics that you can face as co-parenting. Even with firm financial and child support agreements, finances can be a hard topic that causes a lot of conflicts between co-parents. Which is why 2houses really takes the stress out of finances.

With the app, we were able to keep track of all the monthly expenses that we had for the kids. These were routine expenses that we both agreed to share responsibility for as well as any emergency expenses that came up in the month. Plus, we could slot in things like year end field trips for the kids or when they needed new clothes.

We were also able to purchase those larger gifts together using the wish list feature in the finances and agreed to do the gift giving during a time when we were meeting for a handoff with the kids. It really did make the difference and created a new family dynamic for our kids where we were cooperating and co-parenting effectively.

While it hasn’t been 100% easy, 2houses offered a lot of options for us to step back and allow the platform to be the mediator. We were able to really stop taking shots at each other and realize that us separating, while not the easiest or anything we really wanted, was the best option for us and for our kids.

By using the platform, we were able to get back to the job of parenting and our kids have truly thrived in this new arrangement where they can feel the stability, and predictability we’ve forged through the app all while feeling the support that comes from two parents who love them—regardless of whether they are in the same home or not.

And for me, the only counting I’ve done is being able to count all the ways that 2houses has enabled me to co-parent effectively.