Divorce Coparenting: The Emotional Toll of Divorce on Children

If you’re a married person who thinks that your marriage might be over, you’re not alone. Nearly 38% of marriages end in divorce.

The bright side is that this means you have resources that can help you get through even the toughest part of the divorce process. For most people, the hardest part is figuring out how to parent your kids in two different households.

Read on to get some divorce coparenting tips that will help you out.

How Does Divorce Affect Children?

Divorce takes a significant emotional toll on kids in many cases. Babies learn about the world through their parents and their household, and this foundation solidifies as kids get older and mature into adults.

When that foundation is fractured, it’s natural that a child’s sense of security and wholeness might be threatened. This can have psychological and emotional effects well throughout childhood and beyond.

Studies show that teenagers from divorced households are three times more likely to need mental health counseling. Some other ways that divorce takes a toll on children includes:

• Struggling with school grades and performance
• Are more likely to act out with their behavior
• A stronger likelihood of substance abuse
• Higher dropout rate
• Difficulty in romantic and interpersonal relationships

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get divorced if there’s no fixing your marriage. However, consider this potential toll as you and your soon-to-be ex figure out strategies for raising your children post-marriage.

What Is Divorce Coparenting?

Divorce coparenting is the best-case scenario if you’d like to get a clean split from each other while still doing what’s best for your kids. With co-parenting, you get to go through the divorce process cooperatively and create solutions that will help you do what’s best for your children.

There are some helpful steps you can follow to create the ideal coparenting relationship and agreements.

Get Divorce Mediation

The first thing you should do is agree to sit down with professional mediators. Mediators are impartial professionals that can help the two of you negotiate and speak your mind without making the process contentious.

Working with professional mediators starts your divorce process with cooperation in mind and opens lines of communication. Going to mediation makes it easier for you two to come to agreements without letting squabbles get in the way.

Consult With an Attorney

Though cooperation is the name of the game, you still owe it to yourself to get sound legal advice. A divorce attorney will sit down and discuss the circumstances of your marriage and divorce. During the consultation, the lawyer will ask your goals for the divorce, and will talk about your assets and whether you have a prenup.

Once you hire a lawyer, they’ll also provide you with advice on how to move forward. Perhaps most importantly, your attorney will advise you so that you don’t make costly legal mistakes.

Come to Terms on the Most Important Things

Once you know that you can openly speak to your spouse, treat your conversations in a business-like fashion. Start hashing out the most important details of parenthood, such as child support, child custody arrangements, visitation, and other issues.

You’ll need to work them into an agreement that you can put before the judge, so get as detailed as possible. Having these discussions on your own is more productive and less painful than deciding everything piece by piece through several tense hearings.

When you create your agreement outside of court, the rest is a formality.

Discuss Your Family Vision

Take time to also discuss how you want to move forward as a family in a holistic sense. Talk about things like your kids’ activities, where they’ll attend school, religious beliefs, and other important matters.

Don’t be afraid to have the hard conversations, and never assume you’re on the same page about things unless they’re verbalized. Getting a divorce is only the beginning – you’ll need to get comfortable having these conversations for as long as you’re raising your children together and beyond.

The sooner you can get comfortable and develop a rapport, the more productive these conversations will be over time.

Take Care of Your Personal Health

Ending your marriage is hard, so do everything you can to take care of yourself. It can take a toll on your stress, health and emotions, so practice self-care to the best of your ability.

Make sure that you get sleep, eat healthy, and exercise regularly. Avoiding unhealthy habits and promoting healthy ones produces positive endorphins that can ease stress, anxiety, and depression.

You can also get divorce help in the form of mental health professionals. They will help you unpack your emotions and work through them so that you can heal and move forward. Don’t rush back into the dating market, and take as much time as you need.

Embrace your hobbies and find meaning in your work. The better you take care of yourself, the easier it’ll be for you to remain active in the divorce process and coparenting.

Work Through the Divorce Process

Divorce coparenting can be a difference-maker when applied correctly. The best thing this does is keep the temperature down. When emotions are low and not contentious, you’re more likely to get a quality outcome. This is necessary for everyone involved, and perhaps your kids will benefit most.

2houses can help you when you’re interested in strategies that can help you get through your divorce. To learn more, contact us on our site.